The Worst of Raw Denim – Volume 1
Here at Heddels, we work very hard to bring you the best of what the worlds of raw denim and heritage clothing have to offer. But in order to do that, we have to wade through a lot of crap.
Most of it is just boring, the same old rehashed Americana stuff that’s neither bad nor good and not really worth commenting on. Some of them attain other levels of glory. That gave us an idea for a new series that instead of focussing on the diamonds in the rough, took a closer look at the turds in the rough, the ones that make the rough look good. Plug your nose and enjoy:
So this brand looks like shit. And I mean that in the literal sense, I actually thought their logo was the letters S-H-I-T on first glance. It’s even more glaring in the url: slhtjeans.com. SLHT is actually an acronym for “Simple Living High Thinking”, a name that might trump Fundamental Agreement Luxury in terms of poorly translated weirdness.
But you can’t really fault them on linguistics as they are based in Guangzhao, China. Although you’d never know their Chinese roots from the Aryan Hollister rejects they use as models. SLHT primarily produces washed and distressed jeans, but just launched a collection of selvedge raws with names like Cheerful Leo, Bundle of Joy, and Dillon Forever.
It also looks like they ripped off Ande Whall’s old arcs (you may want to look into that, Andey). But our favorite of all–WEDDING JEANS:
Everyday work-wear or occasional party wear, jeans are your companion for life. So, wouldn’t you want your best-friend to be present at your wedding event? Amidst gasps of outrage and protest at the notion of wearing denim to your wedding, we pose a question to our consumers – Isn’t comfort and style the main criteria for your wedding attire?
There’s 500 more words where that came from, I suggest you read them.
Evisu 2020 Jeans
Detective’s Log, 501st Precinct, Selvedge Crimes Division
Sgt. Davis and I were doing our usual rounds when we received a report of fabric abuse near the old Evis plant. That place is trouble with a capital T, but someone’s gotta look out for these helpless textiles.
The factory was teeming with warp-heads when we arrived–selvedge junkies that just wanted another hit off the shuttle. There was the usual stuff: upturned cuffs, selvedge belt loops, the occasional exposed coin pocket, but nothing worth cracking skulls over.
We were about to leave when Davis spotted a punk with his back against the wall. I turned my flashlight on him, he threw his hands up and pressed his ass against the bricks. His jeans looked clean–flat-felled seams, copper hardware, two tone stitching–too clean to be hanging out with this crowd of sandpaper-faders.
That’s when I saw the gull stitched into his coin pocket…Evisu. This night was about to get a whole lot worse.
I drew my service riveter and yelled at the perp to put his hands on the wall. He just stood there, dumbstruck. Davis went to cuff him but there were no outseams on this punk’s jeans. He grabbed him by the shoulders and whipped him around against the wall.
Jake’s been on the force for 18 years. I’ve seen him rescue jeans from outseam tapers, dive in front of sandblasters, and run his hand through a Union Special without flinching, but even he lost his lunch when he saw the back of this freak’s jeans.
The sick bastard had turned his out seams inside out. There were selvedge entrails running from hem to yoke, they even went under his pockets! THE IDS WERE TOUCHING, GODDAMMIT!!
They don’t train you for this at the academy.
My riveter was dancing all over the place. I told him to freeze, but the perp knew he had the upper hand and he bolted for the door. I squeezed off a couple wild shots but he made it out into the night.
Those jeans made it on to the open market and we could have stopped it. Now, any sicko with $339 can pick them up online. Evisu’s motto is “Before Anyone Did Anything Evisu Did Everything”, that may be true, but just because you can doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. We’ll make them pay, that is if Davis ever makes it out of the psych ward…
Have you witnessed any jeans crimes in the wild? Send them to us at firstname.lastname@example.org