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A Heddels Haunted Halloween Alphabet

With undying admiration and respect for writer and illustrator Edward Gorey and his masterful Gashlycrumb Tinies, I offer my take on an alarmingly appalling, abhorrent, abominable, and occasionally apparitional alphabet. Happy Halloween Heddels reader, and Feliz Dia de los Muertos!


A is for Aniline, a leather oh so cool.

B is for the boots made from, too fine for the feet of Zuul.


C is for Cone Mills, a mill of warp and weft.

D is for their Denim, 14oz my preferred heft


E is for Evisu, Japan’s brand with spunk and sass.

F is for the Fancy way they decorate my ass.


G is for Ghouls, once living but now ghosts.

H is for Heddels, the earthly thing they miss the most.


I is for Indigo, the dye within my slub.

J is for the Jam I’m in, their soak just stained my tub!


K is Kleptos, from one-to-ten I hate them 11.

L is for Levi’s, hands off my Forty-Sevens!


M is for Mars and their creatures that attack.

N is for Nosferatu, by far the best of Dracs.


O is for Ouija, boards that can be cruel and mean.

P is for, Please, let it tell me, “Buy more jeans!”


Q is for Quaking, in my boots with pain that sears.

R is for Red Wings, bought too small is what I fear.


S is for Selvedge, that red line we all adore.

T if for the price Tag–no really, they cost how much more?


U is for Undertaker, the guy who preps the dead.

V is for Vibram, a sturdy rubber tread.


W is for Witches, ideally crushed by homes.

X is for X-Ray, let’s see her busted bones!


Y is for YKK, the best zipper we all agree.

And Z is for Zombies–are you sick of them, or is it just me?

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