As we approach August, retailers are starting to receive their fall shipments of merchandise. But temps continue to teeter between double and triple digits here in the States where we use a totally reasonable (read: unreasonable) system of measurement, and what we need right now is not a mohair turtleneck. What we need is something more like NAQP’s Beltline Shorts in order to 1) keep our legs cool, and 2) keep our pants above the rising sea levels.

They’re made in Canada using American-milled Supplex nylon which is both wind and water-resistant, and include an elasticated waist with an adjustable nylon belt, welted front pockets, as well as a gusseted crotch for executing advanced crotch maneuvers. Perhaps the most over-engineered part of this whole getup is the rear pocket which is kept extra secure with a zippered opening which is then covered by a flap which is also secured by some velcro. I presume they’ll replace your wallet if it ever falls out of your rear pocket, too.

Available for $100CAD (~$75USD) at NAQP.