If your tastes require an indigo-dyed patterned knit but, 1) you can’t decide on just one pattern, and 2) you can only afford one sweatshirt, Pure Blue Japan‘s Patchwork Jacquard Crewneck Sweatshirt is exactly what all three of you are looking for.

It’s made of 100% indigo-dyed cotton terry fabric, cut into a slim fit with raglan sleeves for a smoother shoulder line. As far as the obvious patchwork happenings here, it’s got basically every pattern, distastefully sewn together into a blue blob of knit. It’s all there: bold horizontal stripes, checkers, chevron, birdseye, and even some weird fair isle 8-bit-looking thing. And if you’re thinking, “Well, gosh, I really wish there was herringbone,” look closer. (Enhance.) Closer! (Enhance.) There! The body and sleeves have got the herringbone pattern knit right into itself. There you go, Steve.

Available for $250 at BlackBlue.